Each week at FOCUS begins with about two dozen veterans flying in from across the U.S. The group of strangers — likely surrounded by like-minded veterans for the first time since leaving service — begin their week with equine therapy, archery and other activities around a sprawling property in rural Augusta. The location — served by Cuivre River Electric Cooperative — is only 10 miles from the hustle and bustle of suburban St. Louis, but feels like 100.
Eventually volunteers from across the country join and begin the real work. “The first few days are self-discovery,” Jennifer says. “What are your core beliefs and how did they get there? What’s potentially causing problems in your relationships? What are the costs and benefits of what each of us do?”
Participants also learn the effect their actions have on others. Greg M. of Illinois was introduced to FOCUS after his son committed suicide 18 months following his discharge from the Marines. Greg was invited to observe a session in Augusta. “They felt comfortable being around brothers and sisters,” he says. “They talked openly about their exposure and their traumas. It resonated with me because I could hear the pain and suffering of my son in them.”
Today, Greg serves on the FOCUS board and gives a presentation to participants about his son’s life and death. “I talk about his suicide being 12 years ago, but it still feels like yesterday to me,” he says. “I present the picture of what the lasting effects of suicide are on the survivors.”
Midweek, participants move from learning about themselves to plotting a path forward. During that transition, one of the heaviest moments of the week is when participants are allowed to share what has been weighing them down.
“Whatever it is, we want them to get it out and take the power away from it so they can move on,” Jennifer says. “Whatever it is, they’ve probably had it in them for a long time. It’s a nonjudgemental space, we’re not reporting to the VA. We want them to let it go to move forward.”
The rest of the week is spent developing goals and a plan for when they return home. Paul M. from New Jersey attended FOCUS in 2015 and says he still uses the tools he learned and goals he made every day of his life. “I was a platoon sergeant in Iraq and lost some close friends of mine, guys I was commanding,” says Paul, who has volunteered at FOCUS nearly every session since he graduated. “I was constantly grieving and felt like I couldn’t live a good life because they obviously couldn’t. This place changed my perspective; it changed my life. Now, I live my life to honor those guys every day.”
On one of the last days, participants spend an afternoon fishing on a lake, reflecting on the week and laughing with their newfound friends. “The energy is so different at that point,” Jennifer says. “When they first get here, they’ve got their hats pulled down and their guard up. By the end, the energy is so much lighter and more positive. Some of them are unrecognizable from earlier in the week.”
Paul adds: “There’s a certain point in the week where you just see the light come back in their eyes.”
Once they’re FOCUS graduates, participants are still buoyed by volunteers through Zoom buddy checks, online Re-FOCUS sessions and private communities just for graduates. “Once you’re part of our program and you participate, we don’t ever cut you off as long as you want to stay engaged,” says Jennifer.
Participants apply online and attend free of charge. FOCUS is funded entirely through grants and private donations, and they post their financials on their website. Every April, they host the FOCUS Mess Night gala in St. Louis, their only fundraising event of the year.
For volunteers like Greg, the mission is to give veterans a more productive path forward, ensuring they get the most out of their civilian lives through meaningful relationships. “The loss of my son was such a pivotal event in my life,” he says. “He was a bright kid and had everything in the world going for him. Anything I had done in my life up to that point is nothing compared to potentially saving another family from going through what I’ve gone through.”
For more information about FOCUS Marines Foundation, including future dates, how to apply and how to donate, visit focusmarines.org or call 314-243-4140.